The Adventures of the Delusional Duo
by DelusionalDuo
Summary: Upon Dumbledore's request, two slightly crazy muggle girls are enrolled in Hogwarts during the Tri-Wizard tournaments. Unable to resist the urges, the girls, Miranda and Cynthia ensue on countless adventures- pranking, stalking and befriending the people they only knew on paper.


_Miranda_

It was a Monday, I remember, and gloomy one at that. I know it was a Monday because I was walking down a dungeon of a hall way, chewing my lip as I ran over my to-do list for the week. _Turn in that assignment, don't forget to put in an extra hour at work, did I need to buy milk?_ I was in the process of calming myself down, you know: deep breaths... It'll all be ok... etcetera. When I reached the door I needed, I stepped through the threshold and into... Well not into the room I needed.

This room was circular, crammed with rickety bookshelves that cradled the biggest, most worn books I've seen in my life. A ginormous, polished yet dusty desk seemed to govern the room. The towering ceiling was made of stone and the floor was covered in several rugs, a purple one here, some shimmering ones there, and one that looked like a face of a man who couldn't decide on an ethnicity. The room was crowded, yes, but also marvelous. My eyes grazed over every nook and cranny and just as I thought to myself, _I could picture Dumbledore in a room like this_, an amiable voice sounded from the aged desk.

"Hello, Miranda! It seems you've found your way all right."

I jumped at the interruption, embarrassed to be caught gawking. However, my embarrassment was soon forgotten as I looked to the owner of the voice. It wasn't the man I expected it to be, though I should have known from the room that nothing was what I expected it to be.

The man was old. Very, very old. His wrinkled face was kind and lined with past smiles and scowls, half of it hidden with the longest, whitest beard I've ever seen. And he was in magnificent black robes that pooled around his feet and whispered around his wrists. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the man was Dumbledore himself. Choosing to give the strange man the benefit of the doubt, I took a couple of steps forward and stuttered, "Hey, I'm, uh, not really sure where I'm... Where am at, I'm supposed to meet someone, though... so..." The elderly man have me a small smile and said, "You'll have to speak up. What did you say?"

I cleared my throat and repeated myself.

The man threw his arms up and exclaimed, "Nonsense! You're exactly where you're supposed to be, my dear!"

Not very helpful.

I gave him a smile, I mean you couldn't look at the guy and not smile, and said, "And where is this?"

He winked and said, "I think you know." I didn't want to say it out loud. If I said it out loud it might disappear, a cruel dream to leave me in the harsh wake of reality. "Go on, Miranda. Where are we?"

I twisted my hands nervously together and mumbled, "Is it Hogwarts?" He looked up in surprise and said as if the thought had just occurred to him, "So we are!"

Again I gave a smile while I waited for him to explain _why_ I was at Hogwarts. "Didn't you know? You're to stay here for a bit." My stomach dipped in disappointment and I said sadly, "I'd love to, really, but I have too much going on. I can't afford to be away from home right now." Dumbledore's brow furrowed, "And why's that?"

I sighed and glanced at a stack of books on my left. Was I really chatting idly with Dumbledore? "I just have... A lot going on, you know? With life and work and my future." I told him sadly.

"Ah, yes. The things that make up life have a tendency to suck it out of us, don't they? That being said. You will stay here for as long as fitting, Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, Professor Sprout, and Professor Snape are on their way up now to get you all sorted out."

His first comment made me snort and I figured it'd be best not to argue, I mean, how many muggles had set foot into Hogwarts? Just then, the door opened and the head of houses trailed in, all looking so much different than I'd pictured them. "Oh grand, grand! You all came! This is Miranda, our new student!"

Snape slowly crossed his arms and looked me up and down so that I suddenly felt very dirty and unwelcomed in my bulky shoes, jeans and sweater. "New student? Surely you can't be serious, Professor. She's obviously a muggle without a drop of magic in her."

I nodded in silent agreement, preparing myself for the moment the great wizards and witches in front of me said, "Oh yes! That's right, she is just a muggle. What where we thinking? Send her back to her mundane life!" but instead Dumbledore simply smiled knowingly at Snape and said, "On the contrary. She's a muggle-born."

I was a _what_? I was magic? Holy crap I was witch! Try explaining that to your church...

"Pretty soon we'll get you sorted and-" The headmaster was cut off by the sound of shoes squishing their way towards the office. The heavy door creaked open and in stepped a drenched girl my age, looking a bit frazzled.

"Oh my gosh, Cynthia!"

* * *

_Cynthia_

"Damn it, why do I have such bad luck? Tripping down the stairs three times in one day." As I climbed the stairs I felt my body lose its balance once again and I just knew it was going to hurt. So I braced myself for impact and landed on my two sore knees AGAIN and spilled my drink on myself.

"Just great, just freakin' great. This day is getting better by the minute. Not only am I late for class, now I have spilled my drink on my favorite shirt," I mumbled to myself. I lifted myself up and rubbed my two sore knees.

_Well I'm late all ready, might as well clean myself up_. I walked to the restroom to get myself all cleaned up, humming a song I liked. Weird noises were coming from the toilet stall. "Hello?"  
My curiosity could not take it any more, I kept looking back and forth from my wet shirt to the toilet stall. The noises kept getting louder, I could not take it any more. I decided to find out what was making the odd swishing. I crept closer to the stalls, the noises getting louder. As I got closer and opened the stall door, there was a pounding, watering sound. I was finally next to the toilet. As I looked for what was causing the noise, I heard a flushing sound, and my last words were, "What the banan-aaa...!"

Then everything went dark.

"Ugh, what the cow, where the hell am I?"

I looked around I noticed my feet were inside the toilet, and the upper part of my body laid on the restroom floor. I removed my feet from the toilet, took two deep breaths and stood up.

"God dang it!, I got toilet juice on me."


End file.
